Damaged like Me
by queen supernatural
Summary: Abigail is still in the hospital. So, is Sam. She knows all about Hannibal, even kills with him. But 3 chats with Sam she changes. ONE SHOT! T for language.


**Heyyy! This is just a One Shot. **

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING! BUT I LOVE EVERYTHING!**

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3 weeks in this hospital and I am getting restless. Even though Hannibal comes to visit me often and brings me food that tastes of the heavens, I am still lonely. I have just started sneaking out of the hospital to walk around and to go to Hannibal's when I need to. He has become more than a friend and someone who helped me with the whole murder of Nick Boyle. I think in Hannibal's mind I have become somewhat of a daughter of his. Seeing as he has no children, that I know of.

I know that he eats people like my father did. And I realized that I do not mind as much as I think I should. I asked him to not feed me humans, giving him a half ass lie of me not wanting to remember what my father did. Although once a week I help him kill someone. I love the feeling of the blade in my hand, the soft crunch of muscle being cut under my hands. The warm spray of blood across my face, seeing the look in their eyes as they die. Once a girl pleaded with me, saying that she has a family that needs her and that I should let her live. I responded very cruelly; "You have no family now you whore."

I don't know what happened, why I said it, why I liked saying it. What has become of me? What have I become? What did my father make me? What is Hannibal encouraging? Does he want me to continue his legacy? Hunting people, Killing people. The Family Business.

A loud moan from down the hall startled me out of my thoughts. So I went to go see what was wrong. Yeah I am in a mental Hospital but still you always want to know. It was a man who dropped his sandwich. He looked like he was more scared of the sandwich than me. If he only knew what I did once a week. I was standing in the doorway staring at him. He has long brown hair, that looks really fluffy. The start of a beard, and scared brown eyes. He was broad shouldered and he looked really tall. Even if he was curled in a ball. His eyes met mine and he changed to a soft concerned person and looked at me with regret. It was his eyes that scared me, they were soft and caring. Like my dad's, like Hannibal's. They were the eyes that concealed dark stories, and darker pasts. I jumped and ran away to my room.

For the second time in my life I wanted to get to know someone who could be a killer and someone who was possibly extremely damaged like me. Hopefully he was damaged by family, like me. I fell asleep with a smile on my face that night.

The next night I went to go see him. I learned that his name was Sam Winchester and he was listed as a paranoid schizophrenic. I can handle that. I decided to bring him the chocolate bar Freddie Lounds gave me. Honestly I am waiting for Hannibal to kill her off, she tries too hard at nothing. When I got there he was flinching and wincing like something hurt. Holding his ears like something too loud was there.

"Sam?" I called. He didn't answer. "Sam?" again no response. "Sam!" I called for the last time. He jumped and turned to a semi normal person. He looked at me and looked at me with relief. Possibly from whatever was in his head.

I held the chocolate bar out, "You want this or not? I saw you yesterday, you didn't look too happy with your inflight meal." I was shy. You have to be with these people.

"uh...Thanks..." He started.

"Marin." I gave him the name of an old friend of mine, back when we were kids. She died of cancer. "No problem." I quickly stated. "Sam, right?" at that he went to the jumpy scared man that he was when I walked in. I turned and walked out.

Tomorrow Hannibal is coming to see me, I think I will tell him about Sam.

When Hannibal came in I was drying my hair from the shower. "Hello Abigail." His rich accent filling my ears, no matter how much he speaks I will never get over it.

"Hey. So, I have something to tell you." I tell him as he is unpacking the food he prepared for us today.

"Oh? What is it?" He said half mindedly. Even when he does that I know he is holding on to every word I say.

"There is this guy down the hall and I swear he is a killer." That got him fully alert.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, that he looks like he's killed people and now it's getting to him like killing my dad got to Will." I stated. He went back to what he was doing before.

"What makes you think this?" He asked.

"Well, he has this look in his eyes like you have, and like my dad had. It's this look concern, but also danger. He looks like he is haunted by all the people he has murdered. A bit of a cocky underestimate. No offense, your's is with class, but my dads wasn't. My dad's was a hunters look. Always looking for the next kill, the next me. His was a little terrifying at times." I reminisced.

"Abigail explain how my eyes are. My classy cockyness." He mocked.

"You are calm and you actually look concerned, but if you look deeper you could see that your hands are soaking in blood." I simply stated. He nodded and mentioned to the seat across him at the small table.

"Well it is a good thing people don't look too deep." He smiled at me. I smiled back. He asked me if I would help him hunt tonight I said no, and that I was really tired. But tomorrow, Yes definitely.

After Hannibal left I went to Sam's room. He was looking out the window when I got there. He looked relatively calm for once. I almost didn't want to disturb him, almost. "Man you must be really determined to wait out nap time." I said. I raised the chocolate bar to him and threw it on the bed. "Here." I was just about to turn to walk away when he called after me.

"Wait...uh...share it with me?" He smiled.

"Thanks." I didn't know what else to say. "I don't know why I am thanking you for the candy bar I stole." I joked with him. Freddie gave me another one, she needs to stop trying.

He was trying to open the wrapper, but his hands were shaking too much for him to get a better grasp. So, he stopped and started a conversation. "So, how long you been here?"

"5 weeks and counting. Going for the record." I stated.

He looked down and said "How come?" Obviously I couldn't tell him that my dad killed all those girls and that I helped him do it. Or that I am now helping my guardian kill people so he can have a meal. So, I settled for; "Doesn't matter."

"That's a lot of bandages for 'doesn't matter.'" He stated. Shit, here comes another lie. This guys good.

"You want the doctor answer?" He nodded. "I am psychotically depressed with suicidal ideation." I said more harshly than I wanted too. As I turned to leave he quickly jumped to a question.

"And the non-doctor answer?" He sounded generally concerned. So I decided no more lies.

I turned back around and said, "I feel like crap...just...want it to be over." And that was the truth. I want Freddie to stop bothering me about how it felt, what my dad did. I want the pitying looks to be over. I want to be forgotten in the wind and go back to school. Go live with Hannibal and actually be myself. Not this fake girl who just lost her dad, or just killed some ginger boy who was trying to kill me first. I want Jack to stop bothering Will. Jack is the problem. Not only does he not leave Will alone and doesn't realize that Will is so close to breaking, so close to killing someone else. But he has now turned his sights on to me again. Saying that I killed those people with my dad. That I killed Nick Boyle. Ok, well that part is true, but still Jack Crawford needs to stop.

"What?" Sam said. I gave him a look almost considering telling him, but that would hurt so many other people.

"Everything" I answered. "Come on, tell me I'm young and have everything to live for." I continued very sarcastically.

He chuckled and said, "Why would you believe me?" There was enough sarcasm to match mine. I looked like I was contemplating it.

"True." I joked. "I heard you're here because the voices won't let you sleep." I said half jokingly. He gave me this look of Are-you-fucking-kidding-me? And the he accepted it.

"Just one, really." He chuckled.

"Who is it?" I persisted. "Like Charlie Manson or the Devil?" He looked at me when I said the last one.

"Kinda, yeah."

"Me too." Because my father was a devil over my shoulder. "I...hear a voice." He looked shocked.

"Is that why you set the fire?" He asked. How did he know that?

"Who told you that?" I started backing up in shock.

"No one did. The Burns." he looked at my hands.

"I didn't set the fire, he did!" I almost shouted at him. "you know what I don't even know why I am talking to you." I turned and walked away.

"Marin it's ok!" He called after me.

"NO IT'S NOT! You are crazier than I am! Charles Manson tells you what to do at least it's my own father!" I yelled at him.

"It's your father?" He took a step closer to me.

"Yes." and I wasn't meaning Garrett Jacob Hobbs either. Hannibal brought me back into the life.

"It sucks to hear your dead father say kill others to survive, or he'll kill them himself." and Hannibal does give me a choice, every once in awhile. But other than that, he makes me come out there. I, of course, realise later that I love the feel of killing. As he was soaking all of it in I turned and walked away.

The next night I was walking back to my room to get my clothes so I could leave with Hannibal to go and grab dinner. And then I heard Sam.

"Marin! Marin! Hey, hold on!" He called after me. I wanted to ignore him but he sounded so desperate. I turned and walked back to him. " Uh, I am sorry I upset you."

"It's ok." I answered.

"Can I ask you something?" he looked concerned but also serious.

"About?"

"About the fire."

"Look you mean well, but you have no idea-" Sam cut me off.

"You said you didn't start it. I believe you." I was shocked. "I can help you Marin, before he tries to hurt you again." He turned and walked into him room.

"You're worse." I stated. "Your organs need sleep you know. Your hair and nails are gonna fall out and your kidneys are gonna shut down. Saw it in a movie" I don't want to kill him, but Hannibal might after I tell him about Sam. He just looked behind me and laughed.

"So, um your father. When did he pass?" He asked.

"uh...last year." Actually 2 months ago, but I can't tell him that.

"You see him?"

I hesitantly shook my head.

"So, he just talks to you?" He said as he was getting off the bed. It look like he was in a lot of pain. "I bet at first it wasn't so bad, you must have missed him. Did you just hear him at the house?" He asked me.

"I hear him here too. Whenever I am alone." That's because I have a secret cell phone and I call Hannibal or Will. "I can always tell he's coming because I get these chills." I am faking everything. Hannibal might be proud of this. Well, I guess I can say I learned from the best.

"You feel cold?"

"Yeah. I mean, at first it's like I knew I was crazy, but I didn't really care. I did miss him. But then, he started saying he was lonely. And then he started to get mad and started yelling. I tried to run but the door was locked and I turned around but the whole room was on fire. I barely got out. How can you help me?" That was all only half truths. I Knew my father was crazy but I didn't want to die so I helped him find these girls. I just wanted it to be how it was when I was younger. And when he was feeling that need to kill me again he would become like an angry drunk. He would yell and scream at my mom and I. Saying that we are both disgusting whores and that we need to eat or die. When he died I was sad, I did love my dad. Now, I have Hannibal and he it just there and he's like my own crazy rock.

They way the room caught fire was because I had the window open and I was burning blood stained clothes. I walked to the door because I heard Will and Hannibal talking outside. A wind blew in and sparks caught the papers on the walls. All of the walls caught the flame. If Will didn't have his gun on him then I possibly would have been dead. He shot the locks of and both of them ran in and grabbed me. They carried me out screaming that there was a fire. They saved my life and I owe them everything.

"I can put your father to rest. He's stuck here-"

"Like for real?"

"Like he's a ghost."

"Why should I trust you?"

"Because it's your only shot." He said it like it was a fact. I don't want to get rid of Hannibal. I just want to get rid of Freddie and Jack.

"okay." I just want to see what he says.

"Okay. So your Father, did you bury or cremate him?" He asked.

"We cremated him." Actually the Police did.

"Okay, do you have something of his."

"Yeah this bracelet. He made it for me. With a broken hand, sliced it open gutting a deer." I chuckled.

"He bled on in?"

"Probably." I answered.

"Good. That's good." He was a little too happy about it.

"Why is that good?" I asked him.

"One more question. Is there any chance in hell you got a lighter?" Ok now I am really confused.

"I can get one. But right now I gotta go." I ran out his room and down the hall to my own. What on earth is his problem!

*Ahhh tell me what you want what you really really want! i'll tell you what i want what i really really want! i wanna i wanna-*

"Yeah Hannibal I am on my way out." I said into my cell phone.

"Don't worry, I am right here." I jumped and turned around at the closeness of his voice.

"Hannibal!" I ran into his arms and hugged him tightly. He buried his face in my hair and held me close. In that moment I forgot everything else and I felt safe. At home.

He pulled away first, "Are you ready to go?" He asked me.

"Yeah." I said. He smiled and handed me my coat and we left.

She was a blonde, tall, skinny, beautiful, and drunk. Hannibal said that she looked healthy. I started to follow here pretending to be drunk as well. I "accidentally" ran into her, we fell into the alleyway.

"Hey, what the fuck is your fucking problem?" She shouted at me.

"Sorry too much to drink." I said, she lightened up and extended her hand to help me up. I took it and we started walking to the next bar. "Here first round is one me. An apology of sorts." I smiled up at her.

"Alright." She nodded. "My name is Jami."

"I'm Marin." I said. Hannibal walked in and sat next to me. "And this is my dad, Hannibal."

She relaxed when I said he was my dad. "So, it must be your 21st birthday huh?" She smiled at me.

"Yeah." I smiled with fake embarrassment. I ordered our drinks then when she had to go to the bathroom we slipped her a drug. She came back, sat down and drank all of her drink in one.

"Hey, this bar is a drag, wanna go and find another?" I asked her.

"Yeah, lets go and party hard WHOOO!" She shouted. Oh god, shes one of those girls, no wonder I wanted to kill her. Hannibal went and got the car pulled out front. We both climbed into the backseat. As Hannibal started to drive back to his house she started to realise that we drugged her.

"Hey, what the hell? You mother fuckers drugged me." She slurred her words.

I got right up in her face and said, "Yeah, and now you're going to die." I don't know what gets into me when I am about to kill someone. I get all sadistic. We carried her into Hannibal's downstairs and laid her on the metal table. I was backing away to watch him go to work, but he stopped.

"Abigail, before you start, tell me why her?" He asked me.

"Wait you want me to do it? And I don't know. Yeah she was a little rude, but she kinda looks like Freddie. Minus the fact that Freddie is a redhead." He nodded and handed me the knife and backed away. "Hannibal I'm scared. I haven't really cut into anyone. You've always done it." I whispered. I felt his hands come up to mine and guide them along her torso.

"Just picture how you want to see Freddie, or Jack. Don't copy anyone. Make this your personal kill. Become the sadistic girl who killed Nick Boyle and then felt nothing. The best place to start is here." He whispered into my ear and grabbed my hand with the knife in it and placed it at her clavicle. As I was about to cut into her flesh, Sam flashed into my mind. His innocence to not knowing what kind of monsters there are out there. To not understanding that Hannibal would kill him just for filling my head with silly ideas. I can't let Hannibal kill him. I won't let Hannibal kill Sam. Not the hot guy down the hall from me. I don't want to do this anymore, I am tired of all this killing. I did it with my dad, and now Hannibal. Yes, he was my rock but not anymore. He is a parasite in my ear. I feel like Theoden King of Rohan with Grima Wormtongue whispering in my ear. I am done killing, at least after this.

I gripped the knife tight and shoved Hannibal back and went after him, my knife raised high. His held low. I ran into his knife before I could even scratch him. I felt his blade shove deep into my stomach. It hurt so bad, but I didn't want to scream. I will not cry out in pain for this barbarian.

"I am so sorry Abigail. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you in this life."

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